In praise of struggles
An essay…
It would be super cheesy to start this essay by saying that “when I was growing up”, it was understood that to succeed at something, one had to work. As cheesy as it is to start this essay saying “when I was growing up, things used to be this or that”, it is nonetheless true that our expectation of what success is has changed. Furthermore, that expectation does not include discomfort.
Since social media came into the scene, a plethora of platforms on which to have a voice and a space have proliferated. With that the “educational or explainer”short video content has skyrocketed making it the fastest growing social media format.
There is something almost magical about these short “educational or explainer” videos. How to do something, tutorials, and process videos have become a major driver of exposure. The problem is, these videos and how they are edited make everything look easy and painless. Thus, the actual processes and difficulties are flattened. We see the video and we feel like “it” whatever “it” is, will not take that long or will not be hard. The videos in comparison to the real life attempts, look easy and smooth. As a result, the notion of discomfort does not enter our expectation. And even if it does, we still think, “it might not be that bad”. But, it is and it usually takes longer and it is harder than we think, as it should.
As you know, I have shared how challenging it was for me to understand typography and all the mistakes I made. Much has changed in my life since those first attempts at typographic expression. Still, I find myself learning and being told the things I do wrong openly. And I roll over again and again. It has taken me years to achieve a certain level of skill and it has not come without discomfort or frustration whether it is on the tool, how to hold the tool, or the nuance of a certain style, or understanding the angles, and learning the software. It all came with a degree of discomfort.
There are things we all are naturally gifted at for different reasons. Whether it is because of nature or nurture, some of us will be more adept to one thing over another. Other areas will be more difficult or more uncomfortable. In a recent conversation I found myself quoting personal trainer Jillian Michaels: “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. There are things that are easy to learn but there are things that will be harder to learn. That does not mean we are or can never be good at them. It comes down to how much to tolerance, willingness, and time we are willing to negotiate in that process. Or to put it another way, do we really want to learn that? Are we willing to make it a priority? But even if we do open that space, there will be struggles. And that is okay.
We are always learning. Whether we are playing — and playing is a fine learning method — or wether we are struggling, we are learning. But it is an utterly false notion to believe and act as if struggles are alien to the learning process. Professor Jo Boaler at Stanford Graduate School of Education (GSE), wrote a book in 2019 titled Limitless Mind. In one popular quote from that book she states that “the times we are struggling and making mistakes are on the best times for brain growth”.
I used to code. Back when it is was only tables to create layouts and white pixels or whatever background color was there to make space for text or images, way before the WYSIWYG programs. It was not easy but like learning another language, I had to keep copious notes of everything I did and practice. It often meant banging my head against the wall, cursing at the computer at times, or well, almost all the time, and the annoying husband who would look over the shoulder and catch my mistakes. Later on, I realized that as much as I liked the instant gratification I got when testing the code, it was nothing compared to the joy I get when I am drawing letters, practicing calligraphy, or thinking of typography.
A lot of my students say they are not good at math. I always reply that is until you get less money than you should in a job. Or when the cashier short changes you. That skill will kick in. But we expect something else. Somewhere along the line we have been told to believe that if we are not the genius in the room, we have no competency. That can’t be farther from the truth.
In the mid nineties I came back to dancing. I had been told over and over that I was late to be a dancer. Yes, that was probably true. But I took it as a dogma. Later on a professor of dance told me that was not true at all. It floored me. She was an expert and she was a beautiful dancer. She taught me the value of perspective. She said to me: “Late for what: to be a prima ballerina? Probably yes. But to develop a level of competency that allows you to move with grace, absolutely not.”
Nothing is more harmful than people thinking that their first attempt needs to be perfect and flawless. That grace comes after hours and hours of trying. But that is beautiful. The process is and should be beautiful. Learning to do something is going to take as long as it takes and the work coming out of it is valuable and a witness to growth.
How will we learn if we don’t stumble and do it wrong? To me, that is where the game is at. Doing it once, doing it twice, three times, and again, and again. Yes, there still should be a certain level of reflection to determine whether we are putting our eggs in the wrong basket. But that is not the same as not learning.
No matter how easy or fast a video makes something look, the sun still comes out one day at a time and the moon continues to have its phases. Day after day. Night after night. Much like our processes: one step at a time.
Love,
Alma