Bumps…
An essay…
One of the most important things I have the opportunity to do as a professor is to, if allowed, offer perspective to the students. Long ago, as part of my teaching I started a practice we all call “story time”. At the beginning of class, I ask the class, what have they been up in between class days or the weekend, what they did do or did not do, where they went or did not, what movies or shows did they watch, what did they read, and in short I offer the chance to share anything they feel like sharing. Whether it is good or bad, as long as it is not a life threatening story, it is fair game, and Vegas’ rules apply. What is shared in Alma’s class, stays in Alma’s class.
You may think it takes a long time but it is very rare we go overtime. It has happened and when it has, it is because it was needed. I keep my options open and have plans in my back pocket in case we need to pivot. I have learned a lot from my students in that story time space. Some students bare their souls. Others who are otherwise shy, quiet, reserved, and not forthcoming, start sharing things based on their comfort level. And that is welcome and accepted.
What I am about to share was shared in story time. Yes, Vegas’ rules apply which is why I am not sharing names or specifics about the moment. The experience below is shared by many students who attend our classes. Recently, one of the students shared feelings of anxiety over the Sophomore Review. For those of you who need an explanation; the review is a selection process to continue in the program. Though I could share details about the review, I will refrain since it is not needed.
When the student shared feeling nervous about the review, I naturally asked a specific question: “what about it makes you nervous?” In that way, they can think about exactly what is causing their anxiety; whether it is their own shortcomings in the work, their overthinking, or something else. The student listed a series of reasons and we, the class, listened. Some agreed with the student about shared feelings. I listened for a while.
After the reasons were exhausted, I offered my own story coming to design and the ups and downs in my path. It always amazes me that they actually want to listen to my experiences. So, I shared my story about how my work was not great or good even at first, how I wanted to leave the program after passing my review, and how I asked my advisor to sign my withdrawal papers and he said no. My story, and some of you know it very well, ended with telling her, “I have been through a lot both personally and professionally, and I can tell you this: each no is simply a bump, like in a bowling alley, guiding you to the actual place you should be.” I shared with her my most recent no, which was an observation made by a master calligrapher about what I need to work on. It stung. But it also pointed me in the right direction. I also told the student that no experience good or bad is wasted as each one teaches us something we did not know before. We are data collectors in our own lives. The student thanked me for sharing and felt more relaxed, for which I was grateful.
We all tend to think that any failure or perceived failure is an affront to who we are as a person. The sense of guilt goes beyond a healthy understanding of what is or could be a mistake and what part of that was our responsibility. We feel shame. A deep and profound sense of unworthiness. The worse thing is that we feel no hope. We need a kind soul to remind us that we are not hopeless, right? Or that our sense of shame, as real as it can be, is perhaps misplaced?
In my experience as an educator, the students that tend to worry the most are the ones who should worry the least, at least academically. The ones who should be worried, who should be asking, who should be paying more attention, are much less preoccupied with their work. Still, from the students’ vantage point, that observation and perspective is missed. Their sense of belonging clouds their objective appreciation at least during the first year or so. In part, because they feel they do not know enough, which is more or less true.
Sometimes things are beyond our control, that is true. The circumstances can be daunting. But, when it comes to the work we do as designers, especially while still in school, focus and time well spent go a long way in perfecting our craft. I love being a professor. It is not without its headaches and bumps—there are many. However; it is a deeply rewarding experience, especially teaching design. There is something special about the collaborative nature of the studio classes. We bond over working and helping each other along.
Love,
Alma